I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
now i know why i became what i already was.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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