i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
