YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
