I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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