its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
