Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I party with great urgency now.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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