kristin has been a bad kristin
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
