I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
