she woke up with a sticky ear
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
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IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
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When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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