As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
