well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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