By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
