i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
