just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
