Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
