You just made me feel so damn special
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
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Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
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I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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