just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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