My first STD was from a foam party
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Semen is not good for contacts.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.