Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
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Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
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I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.