i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
