The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
