the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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