my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
