Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
