well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
