I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
