Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just gargled with NyQuil
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
