I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
