dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I deserve this hangover.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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