new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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