escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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