I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I think people are normalizing furries
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
