Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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