I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
