the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
