im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
