why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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