He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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