Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
