You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
