Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
