his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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