Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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