They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
