Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
