So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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