Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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