Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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