i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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