No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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