??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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