Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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