I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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