I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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