So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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