i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
