i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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