i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
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Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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