new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
