weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
