I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
