She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
