I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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