i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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