Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
